I’m always inside when the wind howls. Wolf of the great world. I can not bear to have it whistle through my ears and around my fragile skull, it makes me sleepy and silences the sweet voices that keep me warm, dead poet’s words, balm for wounded hearts. The wind is loud, tries to drive me out, out through the chimneys and the gap under my door.
The more I stay inside the more it roars, but you see, it all overwhelms me, the fractured lights and the noises, especially BANG and worst of all the people. They feel too much, oh, how they rush about while their moods seep out like milky sap, forcing me to swim. Alice in the sea of tears, that is what it means to go out. My tissue paper soul, so quickly torn by the wanting and the weeping and the fierce, deep shame. They are all so frightened, clinging, cloying to the wind.
Oh, but this is not you, they will say. You are not afraid of wolves, where is your crown? We need you to smile for us, flash of white teeth, radiance. I can be tin solider brave, but I am not impervious, dear ones, and I soak it all up more than bread and butter pudding, more than you could ever know. For all I have are picture books to hold the wolf at bay.
July 12, 2010
44 responses to the wind
Ah, but I trust that you have woolen blankets and wooden walls to keep the wolves away?
(beautiful writing, by the way)
I have my feather quilt but the walls are a little too thin some days. (thank you)
I wish I could write like you, Princess. And I do hope you like bread and butter pudding as much as I, it is the perfect supper to warm yourself against fear. xxx
I love bread and butter pudding, and all kinds of pudding actually, especially with custard. You are very right. xxx
The safest place is under a warm blanket reading a good book when it is stormy outside. Sometimes, it’s important to have some hot chocolate too!
(Lovely words!)
Oh, chocolate can cure most things, don’t you think? (thank you. x)
Even those wearing crowns have their fears and doubts. It’s okay. We all have paper tissue souls, even those who pretend they don’t. Take comfort in your blankets and books for they are shields that will guard you well aganist the howling storm *hugs*
Thank you for knowing this. You are wise as the owl, or the eagle rather, they see so clearly.
Unfortunately even the wind and wolves are part of Fairy Tales. But luckily the magic never leaves, even when it’s hidden for awhile. Dawn follows every storm.
I hope you find a rainbow after this rain, and until then, may you carry hope’s flame in your heart. <3
(Even your nightdreams are lovely in the way you write them.)
Thank you dear one. I do love rainbows but they are quite rare at this time of year.
The wind is banging against my shingled roof at the moment, too. Last night we had no electricity for 12 hours…I wandered the house with a lantern lit and read my Sherlock Holmes in dark corners.
Oh my, but black outs can be so exciting can’t they? You know just how to spend one.
A very eloquent expanded response to that comment? The indifferent selfishness of people with their moods (just… getting them _everywhere_) and in thrall of modern frenzied patterns of culture can be a fearsome or tiresome thing… You’re probably better off not putting too much effort into grappling with it, trying to navigate, tame, or be pleasing to it; besides, when you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you. And who wants to be stared into by this wolf?
Somewhat, but also to other things and I really have been a shut-in girl since I came back from England. You are right though, best to dance on the edge and forget it’s even there.
You are Brave, dearest. (The Bravest are always those who know they are afraid.) Build your fortress of books and the Wolf will never blow it down. He can never, never reach you there.
xxx
Oh, so true Elly. If only they all saw that, and that also the most joyful fully feel their sorrow. xxx
You are perhaps the most beautiful writer I know. Truly, truly. Your words touch my soul. xx
You are the kindest and the sweetest, thank you, truly. xxx
What is even worse is when the wolf is inside you. Usually, to keep him at bay, I go to sleep and slip into my dream world. I have found that moving pictures help as well. If only I felt braver, but I am trying to build a labyrinth of walls inside myself so the wolf can be just as scared as I am.
Oh, that is the worst. I hope you can trick him with your cleverness and tie him up. My thoughts are with you dear. x
Doing what you genuinely feel is right for you, despite any differences in opinion from others, is among the best gifts you can ever give to yourself. ♡
Thank you, that is wise advice <3
I came here on a whim to see if you’ve posted since leaving for England. My, it has been so long since I have come here, and what a wonderful surprise to see all the new posts!
Beautiful blog. I read your posts over and over again in the hopes that your own pretty writing will rub off on me. We have much the same style, although I daresay that yours is much better.
Sometimes I feel like we all grow up too fast. I was wondering if you might be so generous as to give me advice on the matter. As an almost-freshman student I am being pressured from all sides to decide on a career path, namely a doctor or attorney, when all I really like to do is read and write and run about looking for faeries. ;) But writing, I don’t think, would make a very good full-time career since I have yet to finish any of my stories, and becoming an English teacher holds little appeal to me.
Do you have any suggestions?
Have a happy morning/afternoon/evening. (:
Thank you for your lovely comment.
I often feel that way, and that growing up is something to rebel against because it hurts and it takes things from us, the price is just too dear, but then I love my freedom, and it gives me that.
The answer to your question is different for everyone, for me, I find I can neither do the expected thing nor what makes me happy, but have to follow what fulfills the strongest and deepest desires of my heart. That doesn’t make for a fun career, or a wealthy one but it leaves me with the deep satisfaction of following a dream, however impossible it may be. I hope that helps in some way.
Thank you, I think it just might. <3
this blog is precious!
im so happy i found U …
luv & glitters & lots of fairy dust
S*
Thank you, I love fairy dust, especially to bathe in.
I think the safest is tucked in your sheets… it helps the wind unable to creep in. xx
Oh yes, I always have my sheets tucked very tight. xx
You are a bright and beautiful noise of everything wonderful. x
Thank you dear, I have just seen your blog, you write beautifully.
Oh Skye. This feels like a leaf torn out of my heart (it’s a book of course). I can understand and relate to every word so much it hurts. How can I thank you for that? It’s more than wonderful to know that there is someone, somewhere, oceans away, who understands. xxx
Vera dear, it means the world to me to know as well, to know I am not the only one who fears the wind some days. So happy to see your new post, I have been checking every day, waiting to turn the pages.
so enchanting!
Merci Lauren. x
Thank you for being the ambassador to the world on behalf of all the frightened little princesses. Your strength empowers us to open the door a crack, even to the wolves and old women selling apples. Because sometimes the wolf is our knight in shining armor in disguise. And the old woman can turn out to be our fairy godmother.
I don’t know if I am an ambassador, but I am an explorer, even when I’m too afraid to open the door I know I shan’t be able to stay inside forever. Much love. x
I understand it, sweetpea. Or rather, I know it. Because if I understood it, I think I’d have a solution. Although, I do think that sometimes people don’t feel enough, and it’s just that when they do they can’t help but let the feelings drown you (like Alice in the tears). Your words are precious jewels, dear one.
<3
Thank you for knowing, and for feeling also. Sadly it is the ones we love who weep the most, the rest are mostly hollow. x
I love your work, I just stumbled across it while researching the original version on Rapunzel :) I hope you don’t mind me putting a link to it on my blog Damsel in a Dirty Dress, I just think it’s beautiful
Oh, thank you. I’m so happy someone else is interested in Persinette. You are most welcome to.
I dislike the cold.
I dislike it when there is nothing warm to cling to.
so interesting post! i like your amazing word :D